Additional Information
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Frequently Asked Questions
What are the four temperaments?
The four temperaments were originally proposed by Hippocrates (the
"father of medical science") 350 years before the birth of Christ, to
explain differences in personalities, based on the predominant bodily
fluid—hence the rather unappealing names: choleric, sanguine,
phlegmatic, and melancholic. Even today these same terms are used to
describe temperament, by which we mean an individual's tendency to
react in a certain way throughout their life, forming an identifiable
pattern.
For example, the choleric tends to react quickly and
intensely, and to take action immediately and decisively. The sanguine
is your classic "people person," known for their warmth, enthusiasm,
and cheerful optimism. The melancholic is deeply thoughtful and
analytic, slow to respond, skeptical, sensitive, and idealistic. The
phlegmatic is usually a "peace-maker"—slow to react, calm, cooperative,
and reserved.
Why should we care what the pagans thought about personality?
That was more than 2000 years ago! And besides, we are Christians.
Isn't this rather new-agey? Believe it or not, contemporary
neuroscientists and personality theorists still footnote the original
four temperaments. Most importantly for us Catholics, however, is the
fact that the study of temperaments has a long and venerable tradition
within Catholic spirituality. Many of the great saints, such as St.
Thomas Aquinas and St. Francis de Sales, have written about
temperament. Great spiritual theologians, such as the Very Reverend
Adolphe Tanquerey (author of the classic The Spiritual Life), and
contemporary theologian Fr. Jordan Aumann, O.P., discuss how
temperament affects our human formation and our spiritual growth.
Why should Catholics want to understand their temperament?
One's temperament is a gift from God, an important aspect of our
human nature that brings with it certain strengths as well as
weaknesses. It is important to know oneself so that one does not go
through life reacting instinctively, but rather acting with wisdom and
fortitude. When we begin to understand our temperament, we can identify
our natural tendencies and use this as a springboard for growth. As
Christ pointed out in Luke 14:28-33, who would build a tower without
first calculating the cost? What king would go into battle without
first taking an inventory of his troops? Understanding our temperament
is like taking a personal inventory of our natural strengths and
weaknesses, so that we can "calculate the cost": what virtues do I need
to grow in and what skills do I need to develop to become a more happy
and holy person?
How can understanding temperament help couples in their relationships?
Understanding temperament is extremely helpful in bettering our
relationships. Understanding our temperament fosters empathy and mutual
appreciation and admiration for others' unique gifts. It also gives us
a healthy dose of humility when we discover that not everyone reacts
the same way we do, and not all of our special "talents" are due to our
own powers, but are natural gifts from God.
It is very common for men and women of opposite temperaments to be
attracted to one another! At first, each is inspired by the other's
unique gifts. For example, a calm and non-confrontational phlegmatic
may be very attracted to a take-charge choleric. And a reflective,
introverted melancholic may be attracted to the warm and outgoing
sanguine. But, we don't always realize that each temperament also has
unique emotional needs—that may be quite distinct from our own! So, an
outgoing, fun-loving sanguine may not at first appreciate the fact that
her melancholic boyfriend has a strong need for reflection,
introspection, time spent alone. Or a decisive, fast-moving choleric
might become impatient with his rather low-keyed phlegmatic spouse. On
Catholic Match, we identify key emotional needs of each temperament and
also discuss how different temperaments will tend to interact in
relationships—whether friends, spouses, or co-workers, or in a
potential dating relationship.
How does personality differ from temperament?
Even today there is a debate among psychologists about exactly how
much of one's personality is due to heredity and how much is due to
environment (the classic "nature versus nurture" debate). We are here
considering that particular aspect of one's personality that is
primarily due to heredity, or nature. Spiritual authors call this
aspect "temperament." Our temperament is God-given, and one is born
with a particular temperament or temperament blend. It is hereditary
much in the same way one can be born with the gift of red hair (even if
a throw-back to a great-grandmother). It does not, therefore, change,
nor can it be totally destroyed--though it can be shaped or molded
through one's upbringing, education, and formation. Fr. Jordan Aumann
writes "[W]e may define temperament as the pattern of inclinations and
reactions that proceed from the physiological constitution of the
individual" (Spiritual Theology 140). Our temperament does not make up
our total personality, nor is it the "real me": our personality
includes our intelligence and our free will, and can be affected by
environmental factors (one's education, upbringing, and so on) as well.
I hear a lot of ads on the radio about eHarmony's personality profile. How does your site compare to eHarmony?
Catholic Match differs significantly from eHarmony in several ways.
First, Catholic Match does not pre-select the potential matches.
Catholic Match recognizes the fundamental truth about the human person:
namely, we are free. Catholic Match allows members to view the
temperament profile of other members, but does not limit their choice
in any way. You are free to develop a relationship with whomever piques
your interest.
Secondly, the personality profile used on eHarmony
claims to be a COMPLETE personality profile. There are 500 questions.
Catholic Match does not claim to identify a person's total personality.
Our temperament is only part of who we are—albeit a significant part.
Where eHarmony claims to have a personality profile that will identify
the best match for you, Catholic Match believes ultimately in the power
of love and of grace. Man is free to grow in virtue and in holiness
and, with the help of God's grace, to overcome his own nature--to
become like Christ. "I no longer live, but Christ in me" said Saint
Paul. In fact, this is our goal. The grace of the sacrament of
matrimony will enable a couple—no matter what their temperaments—to
grow in holiness and in love.
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