Additional Information
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Relationship Do's and Don'ts
It is a common saying that “opposites attract.” When people fall in love, it is quite likely to be true. Often, when we first meet someone, we find ourselves attracted by strengths that we do not ourselves possess. This intensifies the allure. For example, a timid, reflective melancholic might find herself dazzled by a sparkling, talkative sanguine. Similarly, a peaceful, easy-going phlegmatic might be just the perfect complement to a hard-driving, opinionated choleric.
However, although it will take more time for two introverts to develop a relationship, it is not impossible for similar temperaments to find each other as well. Theirs may be a more low-key, serious relationship, but one with deep understanding and longevity. Two extraverts may have a more difficult time getting to know each other, as they each are doing all the talking and none of the listening! Nonetheless, when two cholerics team up, the result is a very dynamic, highly motivated and successful team
Whatever the temperament combination, for each temperament, there are fundamental emotional needs which must be acknowledged and appreciated. Furthermore, between two temperaments, there will be areas of complementarity which could give rise to conflict. So, we recommend that you read about the critical relationship needs for each of the temperaments, as well as the “Relationship Dos and Don’ts.”
Rule of Thumb: Don’t try to change your partner’s primary temperament, or deny their temperament’s primary emotional need. For example, if you continually criticize and nag a phlegmatic, he will probably take it for a long time in silence, but unexpressed resentment will grow until one day, he may just leave, with no warning. Or, if you are dating a fun-loving, relationship oriented sanguine who loves parties and social engagements, don’t expect to spend your courtship on a silent, religious retreat!
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